I've been trying a bit of online shopping. I hate shops. I used to have to trail round them all day with the missus in the old days.
Why people want to trail around when they can get all the stuff they want on the internet I don't know. Some people my age think it's not for them but I say to them give it a go - it's easy once you've got the hang of it. I've just bought a lifesize cardboard cutout of Margaret Thatcher and if you squint at her you can almost believe it's really her! 30 quid on Amazon and cheap at the price. It's nice to have a friendly face around to talk to.
I've stuck her behind the bar in the living room for now. Last night I stuck my Mantovani CD on the player Alison gave me for Christmas and sat there with a stiff gin and told her what a mess young David was making of the country. He's too bloody soft but then what else do you expect from a man with a face like a baby's bum, I said? I could tell from the look in her eyes that she knew exactly what I meant. I don't think she'd ever worked behind a bar but her dad used to run a shop down the road in Grantham and I could tell she'd have made a bloody good job of it if she had. No going on bloody strike for her.