I've not been online for a couple of weeks. Lots of people have told me how impressed they are that someone of my age suddenly turn into an internet whizz-kid but I'm not really. I forgot my password so I couldn't get the laptop to turn on so Alison had to take it away to be fixed by a friend of hers who knows about such things. She was really keen to get it sorted out. I think it was because when I'm on the internet I'm not ringing her up and bending her ear. She told me now I've got it back I should write down my password so I don't forget it so I have.
Not that a lot has happened while I've been away. Good old Nigel Farage had a hard time of it North of the Border. They don't know a great politician when they see one up there. I hope they all go and vote for bloody independence. And while we're at it, let's close the Welsh border too. That way England will have what it's always wanted: a Conservative government with a decent majority that will just go on and on forever. That means it can get on with the job and get rid of all the bureaucrats and sort out all the bloody scroungers cut tax get out of the EU and put some proper pictures back in the art galleries instead of all those dead cows and such like.
If Nigel Farage wants to be Cock o' the North and impress the man in the street he could do worse than learn a trick or two from this bloke who's started posting his home videos. I tried it myself this afternoon with my walking stick and let me tell you it's not that easy: