Alison left me some sandwiches in the fridge yesterday. She keeps trying to make me eat healthy but I'm having none of it. Bloody wholemeal bread and full of some weird smelly Greek stuff. I gave them to the dog. I should have known better because anything like that always makes him fart. The bloke who came in the afternoon to do my feet (Jason his name is) kept looking at me funny. I think he thought it was me.
Jason (what sort of a name's that?) asked me if I'd voted and I said yes and I'd voted for UKIP. Jason kind of nodded and changed the subject which wasn't hard because the dog had farted again. I wasn't sure at first because I didn't want to vote for a party with a leader with a French name but I had a long chat with Maggie over the bar the night before and she said I should. I always used to vote Tory but this lot have gone soft. I mean you can't even have a fag in the pub any more. Not only that but UKIP are the only party who can see the sense in cutting tax for the rich and putting up income tax for everyone else. I mean, Robin Hood was wrong - if you rob from the rich to give to the poor, all
the poor will do is sit on their arses. It's about time people started
to stick up for the Sheriff of Nottingham if you ask me. He's always had a bad press. I mean, I bet there wasn't any crime in Sherwood Forest (apart from Robin Hood that is). Perhaps they
should make a film - none of your Errol Flynn crap but one about the
whole thing from the Sheriff's side. I don't know if he's done any
acting but perhaps Nigel could be persuaded to star in it.
It's expensive work being rich. They've got posh cars and decent suits to buy and you can't make yourself a million without a nanny to look after the kids while your doing it. It wouldn't hurt the man in the street to help out and to have to pay a bit more for less. It might make him get off his arse.
Anyway, enough of all that. Here's some music - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. With a bit of luck it soon will be doing down the pub again: